"Spring Is Hell". Ain't that the truth! Surely it's supposed to be that fabulous time of the year when everything is new, fresh, exciting; new love, a sense of "joie de vivre". I say...to Hell with that! Spring Sucks! It brings nothing but inconvenience, pressure, and stress. The first sign of Hell...er...I mean, Spring...are those damned bugs. It's a beautiful day so you decide to take a leisurely walk through the historic cemetery down the street. Just as you begin to take in the beauty around you those pesky May flies start buzzing around your ears and diving directly into your eyeballs forcing you back inside. And what about those beautiful budding trees? Beautiful if you don't have pollen floating down your throat and into your eyes and nostrils. Before you know it you're spending the glorious spring days sneezing, coughing, and wiping your nose and eyes. And doesn't your newly washed car look beautiful with its yellow-ish green coating of pollen? Let's not forget the yard work awaiting you. You begrudgingly go outside to tend to the perennials you planted a couple of years ago or to do the first mowing of the year and what happens? You find yourself being attacked by flies, bees and worms, while weeds and thorns scratch your arms. Oh, and you get to swallow more pollen. By the time the job is done your back and legs are so sore that you decide to reward yourself with a bubbly hot bath. Just as you're starting to feel clean and fresh, you get out of the tub to find yourself covered in poison ivy. Another wonderful spring day!

Remember what it was like to be a student in the spring? Final projects and final exams herd you into the cold, dank library where you can see the warmth and beauty of spring teasing you outside the window of the cold, brick book-lined room. How wonderful it is of this season to taunt you so. Whose brilliant idea was it to put windows in a library, anyway? And speaking of those light-hearted school days, do you remember the pressure of finding a date to the prom? Your friends and family alike will not let you forget that the biggest and most important dance of the year is only two weeks away and you still haven't been asked and don't know who to ask to go with you. After you snag a sucker the stress moves to finding the perfect dress that no one else at the prom will be wearing. Then there's arguing with Mom and Dad over the price of the dress, the ticket, and the limo. Sounds like a great time to me. Not! Your prom date arrives with one of those not so beautiful wrist corsages that prick at you and makes you itch all night long. You get to the dance to see you've definitely picked the most popular dress of the night. Yes, at least 6 others are wearing the same dress. And of course you end up sitting the night away because your date doesn't dance and you'd feel badly dancing anyone else. Great time tonight!

Spring also brings the pressure of appropriate clothing. The days get warmer and warmer and you feel like wearing less and less. But do you feel comfortable wearing less? Of course not. Looking at all those skinny, perfect 10 models in their Daisy Duke-style shorts and midriff tops makes you feel like Yoda when you look in the mirror. And does it help seeing all those commercials and magazine ads reminding you that if you didn't work to stay in shape over the winter months you have a lot of catching up to do? Solution? Stay covered and suffer the heat.

So, is there anything good about Spring? One thing to look forward to? Yes, of course, the May issue of Cyrilmagazine. Stay inside, away from the bugs and the pollen, sit in front of your computer as comfortable as you want with no one to see your not-so-perfect 10 self and enjoy!